"There is a universal truth we all have to face, whether we want to or not, everything eventually ends. As much as I’ve looked forward to this day, I’ve always disliked endings. Last day of summer, the final chapter of a great book, parting ways with a close friend. But endings are inevitable. Leaves fall. You close the book. You say goodbye. Today is one of those days for us. Today we say goodbye to everything that was familiar, everything that was comfortable. We’re moving on. But just because we’re leaving, and that hurts, there’s some people who are so much a part of us, they’ll be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground. Our North Star. And the small clear voices in our hearts that will be with us, always."
— Alexis’ Graduation Speech, Castle (via quote-book)
"Nothing happens until something moves."
— Albert Einstein (via girlwithoutwings)
(Source: quote-book)
It’s official.
I need to be doing something with my life.
I’m worried about the person I’ve grown into, and have become. My pace has slowed; my motivation lost. It’s like everything has come to a standstill, and I don’t feel the fire to keep moving on. A complete contrast to the title of this blog.
It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just that I don’t know how, because I don’t know what I want. I don’t know where to go and I don’t know how to get there. The uncertainty scares me and I constantly feel weary.
Torn between two major choices… This year is, and I can’t stress more how critical a year it is for me. When I said I’ve always felt like I’m in a battle against time, this was it. Previously it was just kind of hanging over my head and I fought the hardest I could to break away from that feeling; even if it was only momentarily. This time, I’m really in it. No matter what I choose, I will lose something big in order to gain one. I won’t get anywhere without sacrifice and I don’t know which will cut deeper. I don’t want to make the wrong choice… Because once I decide and act on it, I won’t be able to turn back. God forbid I regret whatever the path I elect to walk. The consequences, I can’t bear.
Sigh.
On the bright side, it’s still exciting to see what will unfold this year, at the very least, the answers I seek have a deadline, and by some way or another things will have to work out by the end of the year. Also, things to look forward to: Jie coming to Japan this June - finally will be able to actually meet her in person after a year+. Two, one of my best friends also joining me in the land of the rising sun after a really really long battle with different obstacles to study for a short-term course, which will hopefully become long-term. I just hope this works out for her… I really want it to.
SO. This year is gonna be a good one. I just need to have faith, and breatheeeeeee.
PS: Happy Birthday Dinosaur. I’m so proud of you. :)
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